BEWARE.....

            A few months ago, I was lying in bed with my husband, reading a book.  All of a sudden, I had this powerful sensation and feeling that I was going to die.  It was the most uncanny feeling.  It was and invasive thought that told me I was going to die.  The amazing thing about it, was that I had peace.  I was not afraid but I laid there and cried silently aware that of my mortality.

            For many months following, this night, every night as I crawled into bed to read, that feeling that I was going to die was always present.  It became a constant thought that would invade every area of my mind.  At first, I was afraid to talk about it with anyone.  I didn’t want it to be real.  I thought that if I kept it to myself, it would go away.  However, I also thought that if this was God letting me know my time was short, that I should at least talk about it with my family and husband.  

            I did finally discuss it with my husband and he blew it off and said, I wasn’t going to die.  Of course, this was not the response I would have liked to have had from him but what could I do?  My dad, on the other hand, was much more empathetic but he too felt like everything would be ok.

            My condition began to escalate.  I was extremely troubled in my spirit.  I was not only feeling like I was going to die at any moment, but I also began to feel like God was punishing me and that I this fate was because I have not been a productive servant.  I also felt that I had royally screwed up and lost my salvation.

            For those of you who have never experienced anything like this, my story might sound trivial and of little consequence.  However, for those of you who can relate to what I am describing, it is an overwhelming state of uneasiness, to the point I feared I might lose my mind.

            The BIBLE says in John 10:10 that the devil comes to steal, kill and destroy.  This is a bible verse I have read and heard so many times over the years.  It was a concept I understood from an intellectual perspective.  I have to say that I did not fully understand the power and devices of my enemy.  This experience has taught me just how cleaver and destructive the enemy of our soul is.  I didn’t fully understand until I had this experience.

            What I learned after a lot of prayer and counseling with some spiritual mentors, is that the devil planted a thought in my mind.  It all began with a thought.  It was a seed that I watered and fed, therefore it grew until it became a huge problem.  I gave it a home in my mind and I thought on it and tried to understand it.  This was my downfall.  I should have known not to give place for something that brought me torment.  But remember, I said when the thought first entered, I had felt peace.  That is why I didn’t recognize it for what it was.  The devil is very cleaver.

            I was advised to ignore these intrusive thoughts.  That is difficult to do but I just started to say out loud, Devil, you are a liar.  The Bible says in Rev. 12:10 the devil is an accuser of the breathern accusing them before God day and night.  He is constantly lying to us and trying to get us to believe that we are failing, sinning, missing our destiny or otherwise strayed away from God and our purpose.

            Phil 4:8 says “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

            That was exactly what I have had to do.  ARREST the thoughts that are contrary to what God says.  He is for us, not against us.  He is always working for our good.  His love for us is more than we can comprehend; I think that is why we do not understand it.  Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”

            Romans 8:38-39 “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
            We must be aware of our adversary.  He is real and he is able to weave a deceiving web of lies and if we are not careful, we may believe them.  BUT GOD is greater than any lie or thought or trouble that seeks to destroy our faith and hope. 
            God is a present help in time of trouble! Thank you Jesus for your word!