I know what your thinking... What makes me such an expert on guys? What is so special about me that I should deign to know what a guy is looking for when it comes to choosing a woman to have a relationship with?
Aside from my many romps (I use this word loosely) with the opposite sex and the countless hours I have listened to men complain about what they are not getting at home, the source of my information is as old as the document it was written on.
The answer is very simple but it really takes wisdom to understand it. God made man first. In Genesis 2:18 “God said it is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.” After this, God formed every beast of the field and fowl of the air and brought them to Adam, but none of these satisfied Adam’s need for a help meet (mate). Genesis 2:22 “God took a rib from Adam and made woman and brought her to the man. And Adam said “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, she shall be called woman because she was taken out of Man.” God did NOT create a woman to need a man. It is the exact opposite.
This set of scriptures is perhaps some of the most important for women to understand. Society has changed the way girls and guys get together. Men no longer chase the girls, but rather the girls chase the guys. THIS IS THE FIRST MISTAKE! Guys cannot live without a girl, period. That is just the way it is. They were created to NEED a girl. Every human is born of woman. It is impossible to give birth without the female. So if you think about it, every man has been born from a woman and they are dependent on a woman from the beginning of their life cycle.
If a girl can get this in her mind, men were born to need us, then we would walk a little taller knowing that it is only a matter of time before the guy who is meant for you finds you, and believe me, he will find you.
Let’s go back to the Bible. Every great man in the Bible fell into sin or death because of a woman. This is a huge revelation. The ramifications of that are enormous. The whole world knows that Adam sinned in the Garden of Eden because his wife, Eve, who God gave him. Eve enticed Adam to eat of the tree of Knowledge of good and evil. But let’s look at the other great men in the Bible.
Abraham listened to his wife Sarah and slept with his bondwoman, Hagar, instead of waiting on God’s promise. As a result of his listening to his wife instead of listening to God, Ishmael was born. Ishmael’s birth is the sole reason the nation of Israel is still fighting wars with all the other Arab countries. Those countries claim the same birthright of Abraham, but Ishmael is NOT the promise seed of Abraham, Isaac is because he came through Sarah. (Full story found in Genesis 17 & Getnesis 20-22)
Sampson, who was the strongest man in the Bible was in love with Delilah. Her only reason for “dating” Sampson was to find out where the source of his strength came from. Sampson knew she didn’t love him, but he loved her, so he kept going back to her even after she harmed him and had him arrested numerous times. The end of the story is that Delilah finally learned the source of Sampson’s strength, his hair, and she cut it all off while he was a sleep. He died as a result of his relationship with Delilah. (Full story found in Judges 13-16)
David, the greatest king of the Bible and “a man after God’s own heart” murdered the husband of a woman he fell in love with because he had gotten her pregnant. This story is such an amazing story of human vulnerability, God’s judgment and God’s everlasting grace. David was anointed King over all of Israel in 1Samuel 16. He marries Saul’s daughter Michal, but his heart was not with Michal. One day as he was bathing on the roof of the palace he spies Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11) and the Bible says he desired to have her. She is another man’s wife but he wants her so he takes her to bed, gets her pregnant and because she becomes pregnant, he has her husband killed.
The stories do not end there. Like I said, many great men in the bible fell to sin because of a WOMAN. It is critical for woman/girls to know the power and effect you have over men. This is not to be used carelessly. But it is meant to illustrate a point, God made men to need women. It is not the other way around.
So what am I trying to say? What is my point? My point is realize your value. Don’t settle. Be confident in who you are. You are worthy of love, but if you don’t believe it, a guy sure isn’t going to believe it. Guys want a confident woman. They want you to be sure of yourself. They WANT TO PURSUE YOU!!! Most girls are so needy of a boyfriend that they do all the pursuing. That goes against everything in a man. They are hunters. They provide. They protect. They are the stronger sex. GIRLS…let the men be men. Stop chasing them. Stop trying to prove you are smarter. Stop trying to be so strong. Men want be superman, they want to feel needed. They want to be your everything, but they don’t want you to be needy.
Do you know what you want in a guy? Do you know what qualities he has to have before you will date him? Will you date a guy who smokes? Will you date a guy who drinks? Will you date a guy who has been known to cheat on his wife or girlfriend? Will you date a guy who lives with his parents? Will you date a guy who doesn’t have a job? Will you date a guy that has been known to hit girls? Will you date a guy who is “talking to someone else” at the same time? Does he go to church? Does he have any values?
If you don’t know what you want in a guy, you will date any guy who looks half way decent and pays attention to you. Believe me when I say this, guys know if a girl is desperate or not and no self respecting guy will want a girlfriend, much less a wife if she will settle for anyone. Guys want to be “the one” that is more special than any other guy and they want to feel “lucky” to have you.
It starts with you ! Make a list of what you want in a man. Look at it every time someone asks you out, and if he does not have the attributes on your list, then politely decline his offer for a date and WAIT for the next guy.
This is VERY attractive and men will respect you for it. Remember, it’s MEN who need Women, not the other way around.
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