It has been a couple of weeks since I submitted a column. The reason for my short absence is because I am in the middle of change. December, the month that contains my birthday, anniversary and Christmas, is not a great time to be going through major change, but that is exactly what is happening.
I have spent my life going through adversity and coming out the other side of it better and stronger, so my heart and my mind knows that when change occurs there will always be something good that comes as a result. However, this bit of knowledge does not make the process any easier.
For many days now I have felt at peace with the knowledge that everything will workout for the good. Yet, there is still sadness, uncertainty and emotion mixed up in this process so it occurred to me that maybe I should write about how much change and the transitions it brings suck.
This is not a faith issue, nor is it a fear issue. It is simply an issue of being human and I think that aspect is what is important for this article. I think many people have such a misconception of God and what it means to trust in him. If the expectation is that life will be easy and crappy things won’t happen to you because you believe in God, then I recommend you reexamine your beliefs and figure out why how you came to believe that. (Sorry if that sounds harsh). I say that because I am keenly aware that faith can be fragile for some people. It is important that belief be based on a foundation of Biblical teaching; otherwise, the cruelty of life will cause you to loose your faith, and I would hate to see that happen. Maybe if I explain one of the situations, you will understand what I am trying to convey.
If you have read my column before, then you know that I am a woman of faith. I am very careful to follow in the direction I feel the lord is leading me and I do not make major decisions lightly. I was recently approached by a business owner about a job opportunity that they had been told about. Since I had recently applied for an internship with the Board of Behavioral Sciences, she felt like I was perfect for the job and recommended me for the position. I was honored that she felt like I would be a good fit. The next day, I received an email from the CEO of the company who had the position available and he asked if I could come in and meet him that afternoon.
To make a long story short, I met with the CEO that day and was hired on the spot. This was very significant for me because I was going through a major change in another area of my life and I felt like this was a blessing that God knew I needed. It came to me completely out of the blue. By the time my fingerprint clearance had come back and I began work, I was immediately promoted to a position that came with a significant pay increase and additional benefits.
This new development was not only a huge blessing, but I also felt that I was moving into a position to really effect change in the lives of others in a major way. There was no question in my mind that God was blessing me and moving me into the position he wanted me to be in. I was humbled at God’s goodness and kindness towards me. Then, six days into my employment, I was told that this company is an “at-will” employer and they had decided to terminate my employment effective immediately. They offered no explanation.
You can imagine how shocked I was, especially considering my faith about what God was doing in my life. So I had a question to answer. “Was this God’s blessing to me or wasn’t it?"
My answer is that it absolutely was God’s will for me. God doesn’t give something and then take it back. People do that. People have free will to get in God’s way and change the outcome. Yet, there are still blessings in this situation. I absolutely unequivocally know the level to which I am called to perform in business. I will not accept less than what I am worth. That may sound crazy or even arrogant to some, but if I underestimate myself, there is no way I can ever receive all the blessings and promises God really has for me. I was offered CEO of that company. That was the job I was promoted to. All that tells me is what God has in store for me.
Another blessing is that I received a nice paycheck for 6 days of employment that I would not have received otherwise. I am grateful for that extra money. But don’t get me wrong. I was very bothered by the entire situation and felt very disappointed, sad, concerned about what is coming next and a number of other emotions that go along with an abrupt change in direction. However, I still know there is a purpose and that in time I will understand. Sometimes it takes what it takes and other people are learning lessons in the process. Perhaps, this job wasn’t even about me but about the other people involved in the situation. Perhaps they where their lesson’s to learn and God used me in the situation because he knew I could handle it without my faith wavering.
Either way, all I am saying is that change, transition, illness, loss, etc. is a part of life. The emotions that come with those situations are just part of being human. When the Bible says “My grace is sufficient” I can testify to the fact that it totally is.
Even though I have been on a roller-coaster of emotions the past month, I have had perfect peace. I have known in my heart of hearts that everything was going to be ok. I have been able to sleep peacefully at night and pass the days with hopeful expectation. That doesn’t mean I am not sad and wondering what the outcome in my other situation will be like, but it does mean that I am at peace and that is something that cannot be explained, just felt.
If I can leave you with one thought today, it would be to recognize that although the process of change sucks, really sucks. It is necessary and if you can get through it, it will produce a gift for which you will be grateful. At some point in your future, you will look back on this moment and know that although it was a very tough time in your life, you would do it all over again if it meant you would receive the same benefit.
Hold on….the storm doesn’t last forever. Seasons change, and a better day is just ahead.